


Communion

by Colamiilk



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Alternate Universe, Asura isn't completely evil here, Cuddle him and make him feel good, Deep discussions I am pulling out of my ass, Depressing, I'm having issues tagging this bc I'm actually not sure what it is, M/M, Open Ending, Rebellion(?), Smut, Someone love Justin, Surprisingly Consensual, pls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:09:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26994190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colamiilk/pseuds/Colamiilk
Summary: “There trying to trick me, trying to make me kill one of mine.” The upset in Asura’s voice, the tone he used made it seem like this was part of some weird long standing feud between him and the church, like he was used to this somehow.---Goretober 2020: For the Greater Good - Ritual Sacrifice
Relationships: Asura/Justin Law
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7
Collections: Goretober 2020





	Communion

**Author's Note:**

> Did u know the ship tag for Asura/Justin didn't exist until right now? I had to make it, so now I've created the ship tag for Lord Death/Justin and Asura/Justin because APPARENTLY no one else in this fandom wants to talk about religious trauma (or just worship as a kink, that's also totally a thing) 
> 
> Also I've been promising ppl this fic for like almost a year at this point and like I've been planning to do it I'm just slow, here it finally is though, also its smut by poll request lmao, take it up with my twitter followers if you think the smut ruins it
> 
> Warning/Final note: Justin has no canon age in this, I didn't really think about how old he is here since its... really not the point im making, but he's talked to as if he's a boy, whether he is or not is up to you, but if even those language choices bother you, skip this one

There was a temptation to drown here.

The baptism fountains were bubbling over with rose scented bubbles, a hint of cleansing sage hidden within as Justin blew a tired breath out of his nose and let it ripple on the water’s edge. He was one of many of their large choir, a devot child of Lord Death that was known for his perfection of their craft… which is why he was picked to die.

‘Die’ was a harsh word, but it was obvious that was what was going to happen here. All this work to purify him was done so he’d not need to wait as long to be accepted to Lord Death’s heaven. Asura was going to kill him. They were all just avoiding the word so they wouldn’t feel as bad. Justin wasn’t so cruel as to force them to look their reluctant sin in the eyes, but he couldn’t help but feel betrayed. 

He was never the most liked but he wasn’t hated either, people were just indifferent to him. He was obedient, that was why he was the target here. He was willing to go along with his own undoing. That’s why he was here, depressingly staring into the pink tinted waters as two of their nuns scrubbed him down, readying him for his death. Part of him wondered if they were going to bury him when this was done… if he was going to get the proper send off their faith commanded. Probably not. That would require finding the body.

Slipping under the water further he squealed when one nun grabbed onto his ankle to lift his leg out of the water, going as far as to clean in between his toes as he struggled with an uncomfortable laughter. The position was way too exposing, Justin began to turn a tomato red as he tried to cover himself as she pulled his leg further out to the side. It wasn’t working, especially not when the other woman grabbed onto his hands, clearly thinking he was trying to struggle and run for it. Sniffling slightly the first hint of tears started to form in his eyes.

This was really the end of his autonomy, wasn’t it? The flickering candle light around him started to smoke as one of the candles burnt down too far too fast. 

They had to snuff out the flames.

When the lights went out Justin found his mind quickly disappear into the smoke as well… There was nothing he had left to think about, nothing useful that would help him keep his sanity here, he was already gone. Even if he wasn’t though, even if he was still holding on… they didn’t have much of a point anymore to try to help him, he wasn’t going to be alive long enough to be worth the time and resources to take care of. He wasn’t worth the anguish, not even close. No one wanted to deal with a child so pathetically insane it felt bad to even have to witness his existence. 

That was the benefit of his sacrifice, not only would it help their world, but also just ease the stress the church was under by not having to deal with him. Really, Justin had heard a million excuses and made a million of his own excuses for why they had chosen him, but at the end, he knew they just didn’t want him… cold tears leaked out his eyes as he watched the last of the rose tinted waters drain out of the tub and leave him cold and grey.

When he sat on the edge of the tub to let them gently towel off the remaining water in the darkness he began to wonder if it was actually dark in here or if he had begun to truly fall apart here. No one else was reacting to the pitch darkness, was it just because they were older? Had they already learned to stomach the painful reality and take it without any type of reaction, or did it not bother them as much as it did Justin? Was this normal for them? How many students had passed through their grasp? Was Justin just another passing face?

Somehow that idea hurt worse than being chosen specifically to die. 

If it was only him, maybe he could be more mad at the world, maybe it could feel more like something special about him, a reason he was hated but also something that told him who he was, reminded him there was a difference between him and the other children and that's why he was treated so differently… 

But if he was just another in an endless list… then there really wasn’t any reason at all for his death, was there? 

There wasn’t. And that hurt more than the death itself.

The numb pain that turned his mouth bitter and cold settled over his shoulders like lead, turning his body as heavy as stone as everything was finished. He didn’t want this, he had never wanted this but now he especially didn’t. A weird hiccup noise came out of his chest and the nun in front of him looked up from where she was kneeled in front of him with the slightest hint of pity in her eyes… It felt good… but it wasn’t nearly enough, it was so little in fact it just made him feel gross.

Getting up on his own Justin flinched at the sharp scolding he got, but also didn’t sit back down. He wasn’t running away, he just wanted to do something of his own before it was over. Even the most miniscule things would mean the world to him right now, he could feel it in his bones. He wanted something for his life of service, just a little bit of something before it was over. He didn’t get that. Of course he didn’t. His uniformity to everyone else wasn’t anything special, it was what everyone else was doing, it was expected, it was the bare minimum… 

They were saying something to him, some lecture his dull tired mind couldn’t process. Their lips were moving right in front of his face, words he should’ve been so easily able to pick up… but he couldn’t. Both of them sighed in disappointment, seemingly picking up on the fact he couldn’t hear them right now… being surrounded by people dissatisfied by him, even now when he was giving his actual life for them… it made another round of tears bubble out of his eyes, louder this time, whiny and pathetic. 

He wanted to go home, but this was his home, or rather he had no real home, or maybe it was more like there was nowhere he belonged. There was a chance Lord Death’s heaven was that home he was looking for, that everything would be so much better once it was all over, but he was  _ scared _ . He was too scared to be completely happy with doing that. What if it wasn’t better? There wasn’t any going back. What if he didn’t even make it to heaven? If he went through all of this for nothing? Letting out choked sobs he whined again when one of the nun’s grabbed his wrist and pulled him through the back rooms without any kind of sympathy, annoyed with him.

At this point he just wanted to be dead now, to be killed faster so he wouldn’t have so long to dwell on all of this. He didn’t care about any of this anymore, there was no stopping what was going to happen so why couldn’t it just happen already? The hardest part was the lead up surely, once the crushing pain surrounded him it would begin to fade, disappear in sparkling lights that would make him scream, that would finally give him permission to shriek out the torment in his soul without being shamed for making such a scene out of nothing. 

Plus, the brain was  _ supposed  _ to be very sympathetic towards itself and make death far more soothing than anyone expected leading up to it, who knew, maybe it’d feel good… it wouldn’t be all that hard to make it feel better than this hell right now. Justin knew his death was going to be bloody and brutal, but he couldn’t help but fantasize something pretty and calming, just  _ something  _ to make all of this a bit better. He wished the nuns would be the ones to kill him, to just throw Asura his already dead body so he wouldn’t have to experience whatever was waiting for him there. 

Of course that wasn’t how it was going to go though, and the blur of the next few hours ended with him alone in the Kishin’s temple, pale and tense.

It was so red in here, just like people had said, but it wasn’t red with blood. It was fabrics, velours and silks, intricate gold weaved tapestries and strands of jewels and beads catching the low candelabra’s lights. Justin certainly wasn’t a traveller or a sightseer, so he didn’t have a wealth of knowledge to draw from, but this was certainly the most gorgeous place he had ever been… but maybe it only felt that way because of how entirely unexpected this was… 

He was expecting a horror movie torture room, something so monsterous he’d throw up just standing here… It wasn’t like that at all though. It was cluttered, like a dragon hoard that just grabbed things expensive and nice and piled them together without thought of placement, but it wasn’t monstrous looking… Justin almost wanted to wander around to see more of the collection the kishin had made for whatever reason, but he didn’t dare move from where he had glued his feet originally. 

It was taking an awful long amount of time for him to inspire any kind of reaction, had the kishin not noticed his entrance yet? Was it possible for Justin to… just leave? Probably not, there was no way he could get the temple doors open on his own, but it was tempting to try… although if he did miraculously escape, it wasn’t like there was anywhere for him to go and nothing for him to do but try to stomach the shame of his cowardice and dishonesty… 

Starting to relax the slightest bit in a humorous self hatred Justin wanted to laugh pitifully, to feel bad for himself like an utter fool. He didn’t get a chance.

“A human?” Justin could feel the blood that had drained out of his face long ago, back from when they had originally told him this was happening, come back to pound through his heart. He couldn’t see Asura yet but just the voice was enough for his hands to clasp in prayer, begging Lord Death to make his end quick and relatively painless. 

All his upset at the church had completely disappeared now that he remembered just what he was up against. From the weird displeased growling reverberating off the blood red walls Justin had a feeling that praying for mercy was just another blessing he didn’t deserve. He was a fool spending all this time so upset when he should’ve just been thankful he was being taken care of at all before this… 

“Why would they send me something like, something so- so easily able to hurt without remorse. Those things are dangerous with a soul blacker than mine… Lord Death’s children. What a joke, they must be mocking me those- those bastards.” Asura’s voice was erratic, said in weird patterns that didn’t quite make sense and tripping over itself over and over again trying to get his jumbled thoughts out. It was obvious that he was as insane, as mad, as people who saw him and survived claimed. Justin barely understood what the Kishin was saying here, he wasn’t sure if he should even try to follow it, it’d probably drive him insane as well.

“Why- why did they send you here, you can talk can’t you?” Suddenly the voice was behind him, coming from a completely different direction than it just had been, Justin spun around in a panic, wanting to at least  _ see  _ his demise coming. He caught a glimpse of black and red, long white scarfs with tufts of black hair erratically sticking out, but it was gone the second after he saw it. Instead two frozen hands came from where he had been looking but was now behind him again, and grabbed onto his head with a horrible pressure. He couldn’t move at all, couldn’t look around, he could only stare into the jeweled room and sweat knowing Asura was towering behind him. 

“Don’t look at me. I don’t want to be seen.” The command was firmer and clearer than anything else Asura had said since he had shown up. Said in a tone that wasn’t to be messed with. There wasn’t anything Justin could do but obey, it wasn’t like there was anyway for him to break Asura’s agonizingly tight hold on him anyway. Shifting the slightest bit with his nerves a small scared voice chirped out of him pathetically.

“Ok.” It wasn’t exactly a good response, there was probably more he should’ve said to show his willingness to obey and desperation to not get killed, but there was nothing else he could manage to get out of his throat. Asura grunted in acknowledgment before starting to sniff around as if he was a dog. The shiver that went up Justin’s spine as a long cold tongue licked all the way up the back of his neck and into a good deal of his hair was so intense he was certain he had managed to shake Asura a bit as well. 

“There’s madness in you. You're mad.” Justin wanted to gasp in offense, at the accusation, but he didn’t dare. Instead he just swallowed back all his distaste as thickly as he could manage, taking the insult on the chin and reminding himself he  _ wasn’t _ , that the kishin probably thought everyone was mad through his own deluded eyes… 

“There trying to trick me, trying to make me kill one of mine.” The upset in Asura’s voice, the tone he used made it seem like this was part of some weird long standing feud between him and the church, like he was used to this somehow. That wasn’t what Justin was stuck on though, he was more stuck and disgusted by the fact the kishin was claiming Justin as one of his… as if Justin hadn’t spent his entire life serving as a child of Lord Death, who he actually,  _ obviously _ , belonged to. Asura didn’t sense his distaste, or maybe just didn’t care, and kept going.

“Trying to prove I’m a monster. I’m not the monster here.” Asura was having this conversation entirely with himself, which Justin was more than fine with, but he was going purple trying so hard to be completely and entirely silent as he was touched all over with skittering fingers that were feeling him up and pinching at his skin. It seemed as if Asura was checking to see if he was real or not. It wasn’t a part of the ‘conversation’ at all, and acknowledging it would just make all of this so much more dangerous, but when Asura’s fingers moved down to actually touch between his thighs Justin had no chance. He gasped in shock and bent back a bit, jumping out of his skin when he only bumped into Asura from the movement. 

“Oh… you move.” Justin wanted to start to cry at how shocked Asura sounded, amazed he was in fact alive here. 

“You’ve been so still and silent, most people come in like fools, screaming, crying, acting as if they are looking Death himself in the eyes… some people foolishly try to kill me, wanting to be a hero… but you’re just sitting here… what are you hoping for?” Justin had no idea what to say to that, but even if he did, he was barely even thinking of the words at all. He was far too focused on the fact that Asura’s hand was far too low on his stomach, the eye tattoos on the back of his hand seemingly staring into his soul in a horrible standoff… 

“ _ Speak _ .” Jumping out of his skin Justin remembered he was being asked a question and made an awkward whining sound, trying to respond so quickly that he had tripped over his own tongue and just made an uncomfortable noise. Luckily Asura didn’t seem disgusted or upset by it and continued to wait, his cold fingers tapping impatiently on Justin’s stomach and making him really struggle not to whine under the sensation. 

“N-Nothing, I’m not looking for anything, I- I know I have no control here so I’m waiting… to see what’s going to happen.” Asura didn’t respond for a while, his fingers continuing to twitch on Justin’s waist as he made a weird humming noise from behind him, thinking about how this all made him feel and what he wanted to do next. Justin swore he was going to pass out from how stressed this was making him… 

“Yes… yes you are mad, more than mad, my father loves- loves having my people get as worn down as you, to have them give up their very lives, just because they don’t act right in his eyes…” Honestly, Justin wasn’t 100% sure where Asura was getting all of this, but it  _ did  _ somehow still taste bitter and gross, it made Justin shrivel up a bit, trying to ignore the man’s awkward monologue but unable to. Why were they even doing this? What were Asura’s hopes here? Why did they bring him sacrifices anyway? He seemed to be nothing but disgusted and upset by him when this all started, taking Justin’s appearance more as a threat then a gift. 

“He claims to be so merciful, but yet look at what he does…” Asura’s fingers dragged down the side of his face, cold and clammy… Justin had to struggle not to gag. This was horrible and confusing… why couldn’t things just be straightforward for once? Why did this have to turn into such a mind game out of nowhere? Asura obviously didn’t clarify, in fact, he only made it worse. 

“You- Here, come- come here. You won’t die, they want you to but I won’t kill one of my own.” Justin felt pale and woozy as he was finally allowed to turn around and face the kishin head on, drowned in so much fabric it really almost felt as if he was in front of a mannequin rather than a god. Being called one of the kishin’s  _ again _ , sat wrong with Justin, it made his lifetime of being a child of Lord Death scream and cry and panic because  _ no _ this was exactly what he had worked so hard to  _ not  _ be. But at the same time… it was what was keeping him alive right now…

There was a weird question he was suddenly being faced with, a question of if the church’s pride was worth his life or not. Asura had said that Justin’s obedience and indifference were at least part of the reason he wasn’t killing him… so if he made a scene right now he could easily get killed and fulfill what the church wanted him to do and die still being the holy child he had been his whole life… 

He didn’t really  _ want  _ to die though. 

Maybe… maybe this would be worse than death though, maybe he should snap it off before he was forced to experience things that would not only ruin him but make him suffer far more than he even thought possible. But... he didn’t know if that was the case or not… it might be fine…

Scolding himself Justin wanted to scream at how stupid he was being, somehow convincing himself the  _ kishin _ would be fine and wouldn’t hurt him… like a complete moron… Nothing, nothing at all the kishin would say could be trusted. He had somehow believed that he wasn’t being sent to death right now just because Asura had said so, like a complete moron. 

Justin didn’t manage to snap himself out of his racing thoughts fast enough to change anything though, quickly he was thrown down into a pile of fluff. The jarring quick movement made him scream a bit, blind to see where he was going in his fear and tensing up as if he would be met with immeasurable pain… only to relax when he only felt warm fluff… It was a bed, covered in fabrics and pillows that were far more luxurious than anything Justin had seen in his short and frugal life inside the church… 

Only last night with the baptism fountains had Justin even learned that weird, overly fancy things could exist within the same room as him, that they wouldn’t just disappear under his touch… but even then it was water and soap, it faded fairly fast… this was here, it stayed firm under his touch and he quickly became so fascinated with it he forgot where he was. It was soft and warm, he didn’t realize how cold Asura’s temple was until now, how little he was wearing compared to the church’s uniform and tired he was from not being able to sleep the  _ weeks  _ he had been forced to prepare for his own death. 

“He has a wealth that cannot be comprehended by most and yet, even his own choir, his precious ‘children’ don’t know what warm blankets feel like… how disgusting.” Jumping slightly Justin remembered where he was and looked up to the kishin with wide horrified eyes, flinching when he saw a hand come up towards him… and then drop one of the blankets around his shoulders. It was permission to actually cuddle into them, but Justin didn’t dare, he was far too horrified of all of this… he had no idea what was going on… 

That fear only multiplied when Asura laid down besides him, his scarves, somehow, weirdly starting to split down the middle and reveal his face. 

For a second, Justin couldn’t see or hear anything, the horror making him black out, expecting some truly terrifying… but once his vision cleared up he was met with… a normal looking man. Well, no that wasn’t true. He was  _ humanoid _ , but not normal, he had a third horizontal eye and was lacking any kind of blemish or misplaced hair to the point he looked fake. He was… he was beautiful, but that only served to make Justin even more afraid, confused as to why he was so insistent to hide his face.

“There can only be one reason they’d send you as a sacrifice, someone as brave and as patient as you clearly could do so much more… but they want to discard their mad children. The mad ones that they cannot kill so straightforwardly without revealing their actual intentions…” It was a compliment, but one Justin couldn’t process right, especially not while he could see Asura’s expressions now. The kishin looked livid, but also like he had sympathy for Justin’s situation, like he somehow understood what life was like outside his temple despite never leaving… it was weird and confusing… it made the monster feel more human in a way that made Justin feel sinful and sick to even consider. 

Getting gently knocked over by Asura, Justin held his breath, amazed at how the blankets that padded his fall felt soft enough to be confused for clouds. This… felt wrong. This felt far too gentle for what he had been prepared for, he didn’t feel like he was in as much danger as he should be. 

When Asura’s inhumanly cold hand began to trail down his chest and rip open the front of his shirt, Justin flinched, but still failed to grow any real  _ fear  _ inside himself. He was certainly nervous, but he wasn’t  _ scared _ . He was supposed to be scared… If he was worried about anything though it was more about his lack of reaction to all of this… was there something wrong with him? Had he been tricked? And if so why was that stopping him from being afraid even though he wanted to be? Did Asura have that ability over people? To get rid of fear? The legends always said the exact opposite…

Justin was obedient, he was loyal and loving, soft and silent, was such a good boy who never spoke unless spoken to. He knew how to obey, how to wait silently until they felt a need to explain, how to never ask if they decided he didn’t need to know… The word ‘no’ didn’t exist for someone like him, but even that selfish word wasn’t nearly as dastardly and  _ forbidden  _ as the next word that fell from his lips.

_ “Why?”  _

A forbidden question, something that had certainly never come out of Justin’s lips before. Asura only smiled though, sharp and smug with perhaps the slightest hint of pride in it… it made Justin’s stomach feel weird. 

“Yes, Why? That’s a good question. You didn’t specify what you want to know about though, is it ‘Why am I being undressed?’ or ‘Why was I lied to about all of this?’ perhaps ‘Why have I spent so long suffering in that church?’ There's a lifetime of ‘why’s’ you're probably holding onto down there… aren’t there?” Justin’s face felt red, humiliated, like he was being teased right now. Asura clearly wasn’t teasing him though, if anything it seemed like he felt bad for Justin, as if Justin’s position in the church was something other than amazing… 

In all honesty, Justin felt as if he should be getting mad, angry at Asura for acting as if he had gone through something horrible when he  _ hadn’t _ . He hadn’t… but somehow, Asura’s misplaced sympathy felt good… A weird, awful whimper came out of Justin’s throat, strangled and pained, his conflicting heart forcing the sound right out of him. Asura’s overly long fingers pulled back for a second after it, letting him finish whining before coming back to draw up fresh goosebumps from his skin. 

“You seem like a very smart boy, and with what i've told you so far I’m certain you can find your own answers… I don’t have any real reason to try to convince you of anything anyway, so I don’t really mind whatever conclusion you come to.” To say Justin was suspicious of Asura there was an understatement. He didn’t believe for a second Asura wasn’t trying to convince him of something, there had to be more to this. 

Saying the kishin had good in his heart was a joke, there was no way he just wanted Justin to… Uh, what did he want Justin to do? Where had Justin even gotten the idea of him having good intentions from in the first place? Going pale Justin was forced to realize he had the idea of the kishin being  _ good  _ cross his mind, even if it wasn’t conscious until he was reminding himself it was a trick, it had been somewhere in his mind… That was horrifying. What was happening? It wasn’t clear at all. Asura didn’t really clarify, he only gave a sad laugh at Justin’s look of confusion.

“Do you know how to do that? I’m certain they’ve never taught you to think on your own, but you can do it, I’m sure it's not just static in there.” It was an insult, but more importantly a  _ distraction _ . Justin took it as quickly as he could, not even thinking about his reaction as he looked away with a huffy noise, something he had never dared to do before in his entire life, but now was doing in front of the  _ kishin _ . Immediately after it happened Justin froze up, expecting to be absolutely torn apart for being so disrespectful… but then nothing happened. Looking over with scared eyes, his head ducked down submissively he saw nothing but humor in Asura’s eyes, enjoying the show Justin was giving him with his sporadic moments of fear.

“Is that a hint of a personality? I’m sure the church wouldn’t like that… is that why you’re scared again? Knowing you’re breaking the rules?” Asura had leaned over him and was now just speaking into his ear, somehow only being able to stare at the far too high ceilings while Asura spoke was far more scary than it had been looking into his eyes…. Which didn’t make any sense at all. Maybe the fear more came from how close the kishin’s mouth was to his throat, from knowing that Asura’s odd cold pebbles of teeth, the ones Justin had seen in art around the church before, could smash into his windpipe, his arteries at any second and just end it all…

Although his teeth really hadn’t looked like that so far… in fact, he didn’t look at all like any of the art Justin had seen… He wasn’t nearly as scary looking as he was supposed to be… None of this was at all what he had been told it would be though, so maybe that should’ve just been expected at this point. Giving a tired hum in response he was cut off by himself when Asura’s fingers looped over the top of his shorts and began to pull down. The awful humiliating gasp of shock that came out of Justin’s throat as he felt his pants start to be removed was met with Asura’s sharp lips quirking up into a dastardly smile against his throat.

Justin had heard the word intimacy before but never really had known what it meant… this felt like it was somewhere in that range though… When his legs were lifted up so Asura could throw his shorts off somewhere into the room Justin already knew he’d never in a million years be able to find them again. Both because of how cluttered this room was but also because he was  _ not  _ going to rummage in Asura’s temple for something like pants. He still wasn’t hopeful in the idea he’d be alive long enough to need them again anyway… 

“They’ve sent me so many of these shitty sacrifices these past years, but then never felt like anything more than cruel mocking jokes, making fun of me… you’re certainly the first real present I’ve received.” Justin felt the softest pink flush at his cheeks as Asura leaned back and they were looking into each other’s eyes again. It was weird, being complimented by the most evil thing to exist in their world, but it felt surprisingly nice. Justin wasn’t sure if anyone else had ever complimented him on anything but his obedience before… 

“I wonder if they finally decided to give me the respect I deserve or if it was just that they couldn’t see the value you have.” Asura stripped off his already opened shirt with a firm tug, leaving Justin now entirely exposed, a stark contrast to the kishin still drowned in so many layers of fabric it would probably take hours to undress him in return. When Justin’s hands moved up to cover himself, it wasn’t in shyness as much as it was because he was  _ cold _ , shivering without any clothes in the rather airy temple.

“You’re surprisingly ok with being stripped down… Have they done this to you before?” Braving an upset, annoyed look Justin didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure why Asura would even care about what the answer was anyway, the kishin watched for a bit to see if he’d give any more reaction than the sour look before just giving a mocking laugh and moving on, humoring Justin by not trying to force him to answer. 

“I have to say that nothing my father’s followers do surprises me anymore. I’m not sure when they found out they could do anything in his name, but they certainly took it running…” It was weird to not be offended by Asura saying such things about Justin’s church, his  _ family _ , but he really wasn’t. He just sort of grimaced and looked off to the side, not wanting to acknowledge how true those words were. He hated how he was losing his ability to remind himself that the kishin was tricking him, how all of this started to feel more and more appropriate the longer this went on. He was being dirtied, corrupted… but he also couldn’t manage to hold onto the fear and disgust he had for that for much longer than a minute. 

When Asura met their lips Justin gasped in shock, not expecting this at all despite the fact it was clearly coming. The kishin, the  _ god, _ tasted like blood and raw skin, worried lips and bitten cheeks that had been torn apart by anxiety and paranoia… an overwhelming fear hidden deep within him. Justin hated that his immediate reaction was one of understanding, that he dared to wrap his arms around the kishin’s shoulders so they wouldn’t be pulled apart even if they started using more force than was strictly recommended. If they didn’t use the gentle touch Lord Death commanded for these things, which they most certainly wouldn’t because god knew there was no point in doing any of this by the rules when so much of it had already been broken.

The only thing that wasn’t surprising about this was how animalistic Asura seemed to be, desperate touches, grabbing onto flesh as if it would disappear if he didn’t use every bit of his strength to keep it still… It hurt but Justin didn’t mind even a bit, it almost felt good, like a reminder that they were in fact making contact and this wasn’t some sort of weird dream or hallucination. Asura was known for hallucinations, wasn’t he? How weird would it be to wake up and find this was all fake, that in reality he was torn in half and all his organs were spilled across the floor and being swallowed whole? 

That was probably more accurate as to what was supposed to have happened here, and maybe it still was what was happening, Justin had no real way to be sure, but he also didn’t have the focus to dwell on it too much right now, not when his legs were being bent up and Asura’s dull teeth were smashing into his collar bones, forcing him to gasp and whimper as bruises were ground into his skin, deep and impossible to ignore. Wrapping his hands around Asura’s scarf covered head he whimpered as he felt the god’s cold fingers run down the curve of his legs to start to spread him open. 

Was this what being a sacrifice was? He had heard whispers of how the kishin devoured souls but this certainly wasn’t what he was expecting… although now that it was all falling into place something about this felt terribly, awkwardly right, like what was supposed to have happened. Giving a tiny strangled shriek Justin bent weirdly as Asura’s finger prodded into him without warning, opening him up, readying him for what was about to happen. Justin felt his entire body light up red as he realized that himself.

Was he really about to have sex with the kishin? Did everyone know that was what they were sending him too? Were they all down there, at home, safe and sound… knowing he was about to be fucked by the thing they were all the most afraid of? And if they did know that… did they have any idea about… about how surprisingly nice it was? How weirdly gentle Asura was being with him, firm and strong, biting and bruising but not making any movements that would actually hurt or break Justin apart… 

From what Asura said, they probably didn’t know this, apparently it usually ended with bloody death, the people who had been here before Justin trying too hard to kill Asura or far too lost in their fear to prove they weren’t going to attack blindly. Justin supposed this was just another way he was a failure, unable to summon the amount of distaste he was supposed to have here, too easily willing to just bend over to whoever was interested in him. Not committed enough to their father’s mission to give his life… although he would’ve, he went in 100% expecting that, he just didn’t entice that reaction from Asura. 

“You seem torn right now, trying to enjoy yourself but far too conditioned by those nobodies to let yourself have anything they don’t want you to.” Asura looked annoyed, disappointed in him. Justin wasn’t sure what had happened, but he must’ve started drifting off, getting too lost in his head to have whatever type of reactions Asura was looking for. His lips parted, trying to respond, but right when an answer began to come out Asura’s fingers curled and made a strained whimpering moan fall from his lips, the slightest hint of tears beginning to sparkle on the edge of his lashes… 

“It's funny for me to tell anyone they think too much, as most of the morons that crawl like bugs on this earth simply do not think at all, but you are thinking far too much.” Just like that Asura reacted his fingers and within a moment, had begun to thrust in. The little screech that came out of Justin as his back arched and knotted up was the furthest thing from dignified or respectable, but it made a smirk peel up the side of Asura’s face, amused as he pushed harder and harder, trying to feed the rest of his dick inside. The gentleness Justin had just been praising gone with the flip of a coin, with an annoyance Justin hadn’t meant to cause. 

“I-It hurts, a-ah Lord Kishin stop! Do something! It won’t fit!” There was a gross bitter flavor that got stuck on the back of Justin’s tongue as he referred to Asura as a god, but he also didn’t dare to try to address him in any other way. The kishin only smiled, sharp and psychotic, nothing like his original, surprisingly calm expressions. Now that he seemed to be actually getting into it, he seemed a lot more insane, a lot more like how people described him.

“It will, just relax Justin.” Justin’s heart stopped dead, shocked and horrified that Asura somehow knew his name. He knew, he  _ knew  _ this entire time he was in the presence of a god, that this wasn’t just some weird king or random man the church was trying to appease, but that reminder stole his breath away. He felt pale and light headed. That shock apparently relaxed his body enough that Asura was able to get himself the rest of the way inside with a sickening ‘pop’ noise that made Justin’s stomach churn. 

Neither of them said anything for a bit, Justin found himself just staring down between their bodies, his eyes completely unable to tear themselves away from the point where they were now connected… This… this was so insane… he didn’t know what to do. He was breathing so heavily that he could feel Asura shift inside of him with every breath, with every beat of his heart… 

Surprisingly, when Asura moved his hands up to pin Justin’s thighs back and get them out of the way so he could lean forward and meet their lips again, Justin met the kiss back desperately. His arms wrapped painfully tight around Asura’s neck, clutching onto the god and trying to get all his nervous energy out into  _ something _ . He felt sick as their lips moved around each other’s, breaking apart for air every once in a while but never separating for any longer than a second.

Justin had no idea what Asura was thinking, planning, looking for, he didn’t know any of that, but as the overwhelming fear of being pried opened passed, he found he didn’t care all that much. He just wanted  _ more _ , he wanted to forget all of this, he could feel Asura ruining him but he found that he  _ wanted  _ that. He wanted to be ruined, to never think of this again, to know he was so despised by the church that there wasn’t any point in killing himself, letting himself be killed, cooperating with his disfigurement, any of that… Once this was over there would be no point in letting himself be so hurt by all of that.

“Lord Asura,  _ please _ , help me to not think of this anymore.” Tears ran down his cheeks in thick waterfalls as he said it, his voice wet and mucusy with the hint of sobs… In reward though, all the annoyance Asura seemed to have gained from him ‘thinking too hard’ disappeared with a sympathetic smile, and then… 

He granted that wish.

**Author's Note:**

> This is kinda an open ending and you can pick whatever you want when imagining what Asura did there but yeah... idk I'm not a huge fan of this one just bc its so depressing, but I've been promising it to people since at least march of this year so... I did it, hopefully its what everyone was looking for ahaha,,,


End file.
